Cole's Birthday and a real, Heavenly Surprise

Today is Cole's sixth birthday. I have to begin, which is expected, by saying how sincerely somber I feel to realize my first born has turned six. So CRAZY. I feel like it was yesterday I was watching him arrive, holding him close, breathing his rhythm while we slept so mingled, nursing, squirming, traveling this new life of mother and son together.

It was out of his birth that my true growing began. The true simplicity of it all hardly encapsulates the beauty of it, but he did save me. Not from sin or in the essence of salvation but from myself. The selfishness I spent many years wrapped inside, constricting my own ability to truly see God and His design for life; His calling on My Life.

The wrestling between mother and son that stretched my wings, nudged me closer to the edge of moving from girlhood to womanhood...my son...he's amazing.

We wrestle still as I'm sure all mother's and sons do as they each grow and mature over time, time that slips...I can almost literally feel it slipping. I try to soak it all in, the wrestling gone wrong, the wrestling with laughter, the belly rolling and the rolling tears from time to time.

Each of us equally navigating the waters while holding tightly to each other and often exchanging encouraging "I Love You's" and "Stay Close".

We recently started allowing the children to sleep in our room, in sleeping bags, on the floor with us. My husband so lovingly sees my desire to keep them close to me. I'm sure the interruption to our quiet time isn't his top priority, nor is it mine, but having them be near to me, in this time while they are small, understanding they will soon, much sooner than I dare to imagine, no longer desire to be near to me. I like to listen to the sleep at night, feel their content hearts at peace while they dream. I want them to know how deeply I love them.

Well, the time passes and the sun comes and goes and my babe at the bosom, toddling along on pudgy, ringed legs has grown into a boy, slowly becoming a man. His body now lean and his legs no longer ringed but lined with strength. He is older, wiser, and no less precious to me than the day he was born.
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We started the day with chocolate pancakes for breakfast and a morning in our jammies. Where Cole would be in his life every day if he could, Jammies, a show, playing with his brother and not even thinking about leaving the house!

We celebrated with a night of bowling joined by Grammy. It was a night together as a family and the kids enjoy trying to bowl. We had some burgers, nachos, candy and eventually cake. We managed to get in about 2 and a half games for the kids and the adults. They are so precious and tiny trying to roll those big ol' bowling balls down the alley.

We ended the night with some yummy cake from Baker Wee, Spiderman cake. It was delicious.

THE VERY BEST PART OF COLE TURNING 6

I left my mom's and took the youngest kids home while Justin followed behind with Cole. While they were driving they got to talking about why the rain blows off the windshield while you drive and Cole said, "wow, there is so much to learn in this world". Justin told him he already knows the most important thing. "What is it?", Justin asked.
"God loves me and Jesus died on the cross for me because I have sin in my heart", Cole said.
Justin continued to tell Cole that knowing that is what leads to asking Jesus to live in our hearts so He can help battle the sin. He told him about how we pray and ask God to live in our hearts, that we know Jesus died on the cross for us, and we want to live with Him forever in heaven.
Cole said he wanted to pray the prayer and ask Jesus into his heart. Justin asked him if he wanted to do that right now and he said yes. "I want to be a Christian", Cole said.
Justin started to lead him through the prayer but Cole interrupted and told Justin he could do it by himself. He continued to pray and thank God for the gifts in his life, the trees, and for Jesus dying on the cross. He told God he wanted Jesus to come live in his heart so he could go to heaven.

When he got home I was already in our bed with the other little kids waiting for them to arrive. He walked straight into my room and said, "mom, I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart, to keep the sin away, so I could go to heaven with Him. I want to be a Christian."

I was shocked. No way...did my son just tell me he became a Christian?! It was both joy and a moment of sadness when I realized I didn't get to pray with him. But, I am overwhelmed with JOY that he got to share that moment with Justin and have that private moment with his daddy, without the other kids, to really think about what it meant to say the prayer.

For a child who is six years old my son completely understands his need for a Savior. We experience that need daily as we wrestle together through life as God's children, separated by sin, but joined together by His redemptive blood.

He knows he needs Jesus in his life, what the cross means and its power over evil, he loves Jesus for giving his life so he could go to heaven. As he grows I pray he too grows in the knowledge of Christ and by God's grace matures in his faith and the childlike prayer he prayed on his sixth birthday!

It was a big one, turning six. A pocket knife, to be trusted with such power, a party with the people who love him most, and asking the Lord to be the king of his life.

What an amazing blessing! I don't really have words.