Losing the Battle in Hopes of Someday Winning the War

I've lost my way a bit. Today was the pinnacle of several weeks stacking on top of each other.  I've been, in my mind, a very intentional, heart felt, seeking mother (seeking God's will).  We expect a lot from our children, we have done training (we should do it more often) to teach them what we expect from them in specific situations, we discipline in most cases with a purpose focused on the heart of the child...I could go on. 

These are not to pat myself on the back because in the last few weeks I've become exhausted with the bickering between my children.  Mostly my boys.  We talk about love, sacrifice, speaking kindly, sharing, we encourage them, talk with them, step in instead of letting it get the best of my effort.  I rarely check out and am almost always checked in to my children and what they are doing and how they are treating each other.

At this point I'm feeling pecked to death with bickering and choices which defy everything I feel I've spent the last six years teaching them.  That may sound dramatic and I'm not a dramatic mom.  But, I'm feeling a li-ttle tired of spending my days mediating.

I'm guessing this is happening with no coincidence that my husband is gone at least 3 nights each week working on a project in Flagstaff and it seems to always bring a new challenge.  

Well tonight, after putting the kids to bed early after a long day and climaxing after finding out the hose in the backyard has been slowly running since yesterday and no one bothered to turn it off...I melted.  

What do I do?  I refuse to continue beating my head against the wall saying the same things over and over. 

I refuse to allow satan to get the best of my most important job in this world.

Where is the love, the sharing, the forgiveness, the brotherhood...

I reminded myself of three simple things:

• 1. This IS my job.  Teaching, coaching, mediating, encouraging, correcting, discipline...repeat (for an undetermined amount of time!)
• 2. They are precious gifts, blessings, whose hearts must continue to be molded and formed. And although early bed time was necessary and a perfectly acceptable response to their behavior, I must rejuvenate and re energize my dedication to being their MOTHER and allow them NEW MERCIES EACH DAY.
• 3. PRAY.  I forgot to pray.  I've allowed the prayer for my boys, the ones from 21 Days of Prayer, the prayers covering them with scripture, the prayers to start our day...I've let our busy schedule allow the praying to become secondary.  NO WONDER WHY they are acting crazy.  We've given satan a bone...
• I'm taking it back.  I must fight this battle with PRAYER, PATIENCE, GRACE, DISCIPLINE, JOY, LOVE....REPEAT (for an undetermined amount of time).

I'm actually renewed just sitting here in the quiet of my home now, with 5 sleeping, precious children not far from my touch, considering how often I lose my way from God's way. I let the mediating, the talking, the encouraging, the describing, the constant 'working' confuse my mind as to what is most important and who I'm serving with this very special job.  

Nothing is more important than PRAYING and staying the course.  I must remember, daily, to reveal the JOY that is motherhood, encourage in LOVE, mediate with them in GRACE so they might one day do the same on their very own. 

I may have lost the battle these past few weeks but I'm on a coarse to hopefully someday participate with the Lord in winning the War of their hearts.  To train up warriors whose HEART belongs to God.