To Hear a Calling

I have lots of writing to catch up on; places we went this summer and some things the Lord has been teaching me. I will need to go backwards after this post. This is out of my character really. Normally I would make sure to post in order but I need to get these thoughts out now before I loose them. It seems I've recently been bombarded with a stream of information about birthing, babies, natural remedies for common or not-so common things with children, and much more. At the same time people have also been asking me many things in regards to these same topics; a sort of request for advice. I've always had a strong passion for birthing. I think from the start I was telling my husband I'd like to someday be a midwife. But, I knew the season was far away as my career as a mother was just starting. The Lord, at every turn of my life as I reflect, has brought me to the place He wanted me to be, even with kicking and fighting He was faithful to bring me there. In most cases to my knees but in some cases to the exact right moment to impact someone else with the story God has written for me. So, now in this time, I'm standing in this place, a sort of middle of a circle. As I spin I see clearly all the things that matter most to me. My husband, my children, family, friends, and right there in front of me is the same strong passion for babies. Not my babies but all babies. The stream of information, opportunities, requests...all leading to what I know now is calling in my life. It isn't just a hobby or something I know a lot about, I hear the calling in my heart, in my being, in my bones. I can make a difference in the lives of mother's and their babies. I've been praying, asking God to show me whether hearing the calling means I ought to respond now and if so, in what way. My season of life is still in the mothering stage. We've chosen to homeschool for now, as God leads, and this consumes much time as well. I realized, I am to respond to his calling. But, how that looks will not be what I would normally do in an instance where I feel called to action. I'm a woman of action. A doer. If something needs attending...I do, complete and in most cases expect perfection from myself. This calling will take subtle, slow, moderate action. Only pieces as He sees fit to give to me, in His timing, and as my season allows. Someday I will fulfill the calling He has placed on my life, apart from Motherhood and being a wife, those are Number 1 and 2, not necessarily in that order! :) He has a place for me...a place to make a difference. And He has brought me hear, streamlined the learning, controlling my exposure, bringing people who need assistance to my feet so I might serve them. But, only He can do those things. The Glory is in knowing He has called me to something wonderful, something I'm passionate about, something I love, and can do full well. The lesson is in learning to follow His lead, to appreciate where I am, and to stand in the place He has for me now. The Lord also revealed to me that this is a measure of sacrifice. So often, we want to serve ourselves. We find our value in what we "do", our job, our position, what we contribute to the world. He has loudly proclaimed to me that I must sacrifice myself, as motherhood demands, and push aside the temptation to seek my satisfaction and gratification somewhere other than the season He has placed me in now. Right now I am a mother to five, someday 6 precious children. They are my greatest mission. To love their father, to serve the King and to show them Jesus. All other things are secondary to this current calling in my life. But, someday I know, God has plans for me beyond this season of my life. And the baby steps now, the slow, moderate steps towards fulfilling this calling are my action at this time. I will learn, study, read, take opportunities given to me when they come along and begin the process of being a doula and midwife. I can't have it now...patience is required. But, I rejoice in the knowing...in the path...the journey. I'll be attending a birth in a week or so and I'm beyond excited. My certification is in process, the knowledge and experience comes as He permits. Help me Father to trust your will and your plan. To not rush or seek my own desire, but to rest in your plan.