Mom,
The years have flown by and having my own children now, I realize how quickly time must have gone for you for too. How I wish I could have sped up time back then. I was anxious to grow up and looking to the horizon for some unknown mark of my life "beginning". How foolish I was for the longing and reaching to get older. Now, I wish I could slow time down. I pray for more years with you...more memories...more moments. I pray time would slow for my children as I watch them grow and I would get more moments and memories with them too. But, they too will ache to grow up, just as I did, I can already see it. They are planning for the future, for the boys' mark of manhood and Brynn's sweet girlish thrills.
I treasure all that time we spent together growing up. I appreciate more than words can say that you and dad were home, present, making memories with us, and being plugged in to what we needed and wanted as your children. I know now the sacrifice, sometimes heartache, but more often joy that came from being home to raise us girls in the early years. The commitment you made to sacrifice yourselves in order to be available to us is an incredible act of love.
Once we were school age there are very few memories I have that don't include one or both of you being present with me. You managed to balance being teachers and serving others as well as making time with us, watching our performances, attending our recitals, practices and performances your top priority. All the way through high school someone was always there to support me, to cheer me on, to be in my corner.
Mom, you were an incredible support to me, even in the hardest years when I was a middle schooler and I wasn't always appreciative. You held my hand when I needed to cry, gave sound and wise advise when I was lost, and never failed to walk with me down the road less traveled.
I know we are different. We see things differently and we approach the world differently but you have given me the wings and the courage to do things my way. You've built me up to be independent, brave, precise, administrative, passionate, loving, steadfast and faithful. So, no matter how different we may be, you've allowed me to be all the Lord has prepared for me to be.
You mom, are brave, strong, fearless in your own ways, independent, and fiercely talented. You are a giver, a servant to others, faithful, friendly and really enjoy life. There isn't anything you can't do, only things you won't do. I know your childhood wasn't nearly as wonderful as my own and I think of that often. It makes me both sad and forever grateful. But, somehow through some of the muck and mire you have become an awesome, incredible example for me and a blessing to those around you.
I want you to know how special you are to me and how much I love you, even when we don't see eye to eye or I'm stepping outside your comfort zone! :) I pray for many, many, many more years to make memories with you and with my children and to remember how precious being a mother truly is...
With all my heart,
Chelsea
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Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
The Giving Mother
I've been following Ann for years now...she's helped to mold my mother's heart when it becomes broken and weary. Although I'm still such a work in progress my perspective has been formed and has grown...slow as it may be. And although I grow weary and often selfish, she helps me to remember the Giving Mother this morning. Two days from Mother's Day and she has written words that pierce through the often forgotten or simply expected labor of a mother.
The world doesn't mean to forget mothers. We are like a working horse. Cherished, valued, and worn with love but sometimes there is the taking for granted. I think His creation sings praises to mother's every time it brings a new life to take it's first breath. Mothering is an aspect of G-d, given to the woman..the feminine side of being made in His image, the one we all cling to when we feel broken, lost, or needing someone to guide us through our fleshly life on earth.
And at times, and by no fault of their own, that man, whose loving arms support me can forget the goodness and grace of his children's mother. But, I want to take heart in knowing he too can be forgotten and his work can be taken for granted. This is why we work unto the Lord. We hold our children's hands, keep a home, prepare a meal, and measure our value as unto the Lord. Being a mother is like having 1 foot on earth and another in heaven.
Today I also read, "we are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience, but “spiritual beings having a mortal experience.” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin) I don’t know much. But what I do know is this mortal life is a place to learn and grow under the tutelage of a Divine Teacher; a place where we learn how to see in the dark and hear the voice of God in our own wilderness."
This from a man who has lost his son in these past days. To be reminded we are here to glorify our maker...in our motherhood He has chosen to sculpt us for a purpose and in that purpose see and experience more of Him.
I put this in my blog today not only to remind myself as I read back at the books I have printed, but to also share with my children who will one day read these words. To share also with my friends who are also walking this sometimes lonely yet lovely path of motherhood. Remember the most gracious God we serve planted you here, for this time, this season and with these blessings. Soak them in.
I can't put into words these love she has already spoken here. Ann Voskamp has given mothers a glimpse of our treasured life. Read it here and then go there...and read it all again!
The world doesn't mean to forget mothers. We are like a working horse. Cherished, valued, and worn with love but sometimes there is the taking for granted. I think His creation sings praises to mother's every time it brings a new life to take it's first breath. Mothering is an aspect of G-d, given to the woman..the feminine side of being made in His image, the one we all cling to when we feel broken, lost, or needing someone to guide us through our fleshly life on earth.
And at times, and by no fault of their own, that man, whose loving arms support me can forget the goodness and grace of his children's mother. But, I want to take heart in knowing he too can be forgotten and his work can be taken for granted. This is why we work unto the Lord. We hold our children's hands, keep a home, prepare a meal, and measure our value as unto the Lord. Being a mother is like having 1 foot on earth and another in heaven.
Today I also read, "we are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience, but “spiritual beings having a mortal experience.” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin) I don’t know much. But what I do know is this mortal life is a place to learn and grow under the tutelage of a Divine Teacher; a place where we learn how to see in the dark and hear the voice of God in our own wilderness."
This from a man who has lost his son in these past days. To be reminded we are here to glorify our maker...in our motherhood He has chosen to sculpt us for a purpose and in that purpose see and experience more of Him.
I put this in my blog today not only to remind myself as I read back at the books I have printed, but to also share with my children who will one day read these words. To share also with my friends who are also walking this sometimes lonely yet lovely path of motherhood. Remember the most gracious God we serve planted you here, for this time, this season and with these blessings. Soak them in.
I can't put into words these love she has already spoken here. Ann Voskamp has given mothers a glimpse of our treasured life. Read it here and then go there...and read it all again!
The Giving Mother who lets us take up whole places inside of you, who keeps making spaces, who never stops making spaces, growing soft and round, stretching thinner and growing fuller, your hearts and hips widening with a widening grace.
I never get over the shade of you, the grace of you, the limbs of you, the God-made Giving Tree —
Because God needed someone to love the least and the little into real whole people, and He knew that to love is to suffer so God made a mother.
God had said –
I need someone to get up at midnight and scoop the most fragile of humanity close to her warmth and rock though she can hardly stand.
And nourish though she’s mostly sleep-starved and change the diaper and the sheets and the leaked on, leaked through, and leaked down clothes though she’ll have to change them in the morning and next week and that won’t change for years.
So God made a Mother.
That God had said I need somebody with a strong heart.
Strong enough for toddler tantrums and teenage testing, yet broken enough to fall on her knees and pray , pray, pray.
Someone who knows that in every hard place is exactly where you extend grace, who looks a hopeful child in the eye and says yes, even though she knows every yes means a mess but this is how you bless, who has the courage to keep letting go because she’s holding on to Me.
So God made a mother.
God said I need somebody who can shape a soul and find shoes on Sunday mornings and get grass stains out of Levis.
And make dinner out of nothing and do it again 79, 678 times, and keep kids off the road and out of the toilet and in clean underwear and mainly alive though she’s mainly losing her mind and will put in an 80 hour week by Wednesday night and just do one more load of laundry.
And one more sink of crusted burnt pots.
And keep on going another eighty hours because raising generations matters and weaving families matters and tying heart strings matters and these people here in hidden places matter.
So God made a mother…
It had to be somebody who could comb back pigtails and tie up skates just-right tight.
Who could pretend she remembered algebra and how to get home from here and that really, she was just fine, no, really and that it must just be those silly onions.
Somebody who would run for the catch, jump on a trampoline and play one fierce game of soccer and not give a thought to all those labors and her weak pelvic floor.
Somebody who’d stay up late with a science project that never ends, who’d get up early for the game in the rain, somebody who’d wave at the door until the taillights were out of sight and still be smiling brave.
So God made a mother.
It had to be somebody willing to keep loving when it made no sense because that’s what love does.
Somebody who knew that life is not an emergency but a gift — so just. slow. down. There are children at play here and we don’t want anyone to get hurt and the hurry makes us hurt.
Somebody willing to feed and lead, lay down her life and pick up her cross, give of her time because they have her heart. Someone who knows that we all blow it — and what matters most is what we do with it afterward.
Someone who could humble herself into the tender sorry that covers a multitude of sins.
Someone who would live like a Giving Tree — who would would give grace, give life, and give thanks— eucharisteo: the giving thanks for every grace that gives back always joy.
Someone who would stand in the mess and the midst and give thanks anyways — becauseeucharisteo always, always, precedes the miracle of discovering that the Giver Himself is always,always more than enough.
Someone who would live it a thousand times: Give thanks – and discover that the Giver Himself is the Gift and He alone is always, always enough.
Someone who would pour out and bend down and surrender not only to the physical pain of childbirth but the far deeper, unending heart pain of letting go, letting go, letting go – from the womb, from the arms, from the front door.
Someone who would know that umbilical cords can be cut — but heart strings never can.
Someone who’d bow her head at night over the girl sleeping with the doll in the crook of her arm — and give thanks to her Father for this hidden life that’s turning a gear for the whole spinning world.
So God made a mother.
You.
The Giving Mother, made by God to be a safe shelter….
with your roots dipping like lines into aquifers to siphon love up out of the caving cup of His hands –
The Giving Mother clinging to The Giving Father who erases all ache with the grace of a Cross Tree.
Who Are My Children--Brynn
It's strange having a daughter...strange for me. I can't exactly put it into words but I'll try. She's so special. The only girl among 5 brothers, a daddy and a tom boy mother. G-d placed a special calling on her life from the moment she was conceived. At the time we didn't know how many children we would have although I was confident she wouldn't be our last. Everyone always assumed she would be. "Oh you got your girl, you can be done now." This is the statement of the year that year. I never felt having a girl would mean we were done. For me, I felt it was just the beginning to a new journey.
She has such a unique place in the world and her purpose and position are certainly exceptional. I'm sometimes not sure what to do with her. To be honest. She is innately different from the boys. She's creative, emotional, demanding all while being loving and sweet.
Well I've always understood boys. I think I was meant to be a boy mom. Being friends with boys was always easier. Hanging out with boys was always more fun (growing up that is). So, being her mommy, the mommy to a precious daughter is something I didn't see coming. I should have...right..everyone has a daughter at some point right?! I mean what were the chances we'd have 5 boys...
She is petite, precious, tenderhearted, emotional, sneaky, sometimes demanding...she is simply HER. She is her own person, created in G-ds amazing image and she stands her ground in ways that sometimes inspire me and sometimes inconveniences me!
She LOVES her daddy. Right now at age 5 he is the top of the list. She loves to wrestle and tickle with him (something they call rough house) and she'd give anything to snuggle with him uninterrupted.
She is a TINY, petite little firecracker. She can stand up for herself, sass talk you if you're pushing her, and make sure someone knows she's being bothered.
She LOVES to laugh and giggle and be wild. She has an extreme amount of energy.
She LOVES to play house but often lacks participants. It's so cute when the boys decide to play with her!
She LOVES to pick the TV show. It's not surprising because most of the time she doesn't get to. There are just too many boys to compete with.
She is ALL GIRL. She loves pink, purple, dresses, dress-up Princess dresses, sparkly shoes, tappy shoes, SHOES, and pretty much NEVER wants to wear jeans.
Now, that being said, she is also perfectly fine with getting DIRTY. She will wear jeans if we are going camping. She LOVES camping. and S'MORES...mostly campfires and s'mores. She loves hiking, the dunes, riding bikes, running around barefoot, and playing in the hose. She can SHED the girlie stuff in a heartbeat for activities she loves.
She pretty much NEVER remembers to put on those shoes she LOVES when we leave the house. It can be infuriating but it's also a little bit cute. It's one of those things we'll remember and look back on with laughter. But, today...it's crazy. Nothing like pulling up to the store with a daughter who forgot shoes. Ain't nobody got time for that!
She HATES me doing her hair. She's all prinecessy but could care less about her hair being done. She'd rather it be a train wreck and a bag of tangles. Anything to keep me from combing it and putting it up. But, DADDY can comb her hair after a bath no problem! It's a conspiracy I think.
She LOVES her Baby Brother and would give her right arm for a SISTER. I'd love to make that happen for her someday. I'd love to adopt a little, precious, girl who needs a family and Brynn would be over the MOON!
She is a PROFESSIONAL MIND CHANGER. She's hungry...no she's not really hungry. She wants Cheerios...not she doesn't really want Cheerios. She wants PB&J...no...after four bites...she's not really hungry. She wants to watch Strawberry Shortcake...after 10 minutes (barely half an episode) she's flipping to another show. I've never experienced anything like it. It still blows my mind sometimes.
She LOVES music and dancing. She's a twirling master and recently discovered toe touches. It's pretty cute and I can always count on her fabulous dance moves when I put the music on.
For MOST of her young life so far she's been confused as to what to call her female parts...I think we've finally convinced her she doesn't have a "penis" and that hers has another name! (Is that TMI? I thought it was a cute little factoid of an only girl among boys).
She LOVES to play with girls. Any girls...big girls, girls her own age...hopefully this will translate into her being a good friend with girls in the future (which I think I was lacking as a younger gal).
She ONLY likes like 5 foods. Cheese Roll Ups, Chicken, Go-Gurt, Chips, Apples or Pears...Oh and anything that can be dipped in Ketchup and Ranch. I'm sort of exaggerating but it's pretty close to the truth.
She's SMART as a WHIP and schooling her will be an easy task. She's ready now but I'm not quite ready to devote a lot of time to that. But, next year as the twins go to school, I'll have lots of time for her and I and I'm excited about that!
She MIGHT always want what someone else has even if there was no interest on her part 5 seconds before.
She recently started doing chores for an allowance and her first expenditure at a baseball game was for a TENNIS BALL!?! What? It was so weird. But, she bought it herself and she was so proud of that! Her second purchase was a water bottle (like a plastic bottle of water) even though we brought water and there is a drinking fountain...that one I didn't quite get also. Needless to say, I watch her spending a little more closely now!
She has a PRECIOUS little face with bright eyes and an adorable little smile! I LOVE HER.
My hope is that as she grows and we get to spend time together doing "girl" things that we will have a special friendship I don't have with the boys. I'd love to take trips with her, laugh with her, cheer her on in her activities, and relish in every moment of being her mother. I can't wait to one day watch her have her own child and experience the joy of being a mother. Mostly, I pray I can somehow, through my human-ness, point her towards Jesus and help her find her greatest value in being HIS daughter.
Well I've always understood boys. I think I was meant to be a boy mom. Being friends with boys was always easier. Hanging out with boys was always more fun (growing up that is). So, being her mommy, the mommy to a precious daughter is something I didn't see coming. I should have...right..everyone has a daughter at some point right?! I mean what were the chances we'd have 5 boys...
She is petite, precious, tenderhearted, emotional, sneaky, sometimes demanding...she is simply HER. She is her own person, created in G-ds amazing image and she stands her ground in ways that sometimes inspire me and sometimes inconveniences me!
She LOVES her daddy. Right now at age 5 he is the top of the list. She loves to wrestle and tickle with him (something they call rough house) and she'd give anything to snuggle with him uninterrupted.
She is a TINY, petite little firecracker. She can stand up for herself, sass talk you if you're pushing her, and make sure someone knows she's being bothered.
She LOVES to laugh and giggle and be wild. She has an extreme amount of energy.
She LOVES to play house but often lacks participants. It's so cute when the boys decide to play with her!She LOVES to pick the TV show. It's not surprising because most of the time she doesn't get to. There are just too many boys to compete with.
She is ALL GIRL. She loves pink, purple, dresses, dress-up Princess dresses, sparkly shoes, tappy shoes, SHOES, and pretty much NEVER wants to wear jeans.
Now, that being said, she is also perfectly fine with getting DIRTY. She will wear jeans if we are going camping. She LOVES camping. and S'MORES...mostly campfires and s'mores. She loves hiking, the dunes, riding bikes, running around barefoot, and playing in the hose. She can SHED the girlie stuff in a heartbeat for activities she loves.
She pretty much NEVER remembers to put on those shoes she LOVES when we leave the house. It can be infuriating but it's also a little bit cute. It's one of those things we'll remember and look back on with laughter. But, today...it's crazy. Nothing like pulling up to the store with a daughter who forgot shoes. Ain't nobody got time for that!
She HATES me doing her hair. She's all prinecessy but could care less about her hair being done. She'd rather it be a train wreck and a bag of tangles. Anything to keep me from combing it and putting it up. But, DADDY can comb her hair after a bath no problem! It's a conspiracy I think.
She is a PROFESSIONAL MIND CHANGER. She's hungry...no she's not really hungry. She wants Cheerios...not she doesn't really want Cheerios. She wants PB&J...no...after four bites...she's not really hungry. She wants to watch Strawberry Shortcake...after 10 minutes (barely half an episode) she's flipping to another show. I've never experienced anything like it. It still blows my mind sometimes.
She LOVES music and dancing. She's a twirling master and recently discovered toe touches. It's pretty cute and I can always count on her fabulous dance moves when I put the music on.
For MOST of her young life so far she's been confused as to what to call her female parts...I think we've finally convinced her she doesn't have a "penis" and that hers has another name! (Is that TMI? I thought it was a cute little factoid of an only girl among boys).
She LOVES to play with girls. Any girls...big girls, girls her own age...hopefully this will translate into her being a good friend with girls in the future (which I think I was lacking as a younger gal).
She ONLY likes like 5 foods. Cheese Roll Ups, Chicken, Go-Gurt, Chips, Apples or Pears...Oh and anything that can be dipped in Ketchup and Ranch. I'm sort of exaggerating but it's pretty close to the truth.
She MIGHT always want what someone else has even if there was no interest on her part 5 seconds before.
She recently started doing chores for an allowance and her first expenditure at a baseball game was for a TENNIS BALL!?! What? It was so weird. But, she bought it herself and she was so proud of that! Her second purchase was a water bottle (like a plastic bottle of water) even though we brought water and there is a drinking fountain...that one I didn't quite get also. Needless to say, I watch her spending a little more closely now!
She has a PRECIOUS little face with bright eyes and an adorable little smile! I LOVE HER.
My hope is that as she grows and we get to spend time together doing "girl" things that we will have a special friendship I don't have with the boys. I'd love to take trips with her, laugh with her, cheer her on in her activities, and relish in every moment of being her mother. I can't wait to one day watch her have her own child and experience the joy of being a mother. Mostly, I pray I can somehow, through my human-ness, point her towards Jesus and help her find her greatest value in being HIS daughter.
Get Over It--A Little Insight to Flipping Motherhood Around
I've been thinking about this blogpost for a while now. There is always some fear and trepidation when you desire to blog about something people can take offense to. But, people can take offense to most everything if they choose to do so. If we didn't ever write about something that is a trigger subject people would never be able to grow or gain insight from someone else. So, my intention and desire is to write about something that might cause us all to grow and gain insight. To challenge us to see things just slightly differently than we do now. I write for myself as well. No one is perfect no matter how much they might seem to have it together on the outside.
So, before you continue to read this post, just know, I'm right there with you moms. We are all doing our very best to love our children and raise them up. Please don't take what I am about to say as judgement rather encouragement. We were called for such a time as this, to be mothers, whether it be of 1 or 6 and G-d has big plans for us and our children.
------Let Said Post Ensue-----
You don't need to be everything, but you can do better at what is right in front of you!
From my perspective I see mothers being sucked into two extremes these days. I see the pressure of being the "do it all mom". Pinterest projects, crafting, sewing, activities, organizational skills, chef...the list goes on. If you homeschool the pressure mounts even morer to be the best homeschooling mom around (I mean what's homeschooling without kids who know latin? huh? btw for my cc friends, I think latin is great it is an example!). If you're kids go to school you also fit in transportation, field trips, homework, etc. The challenge is to keep it all together, or appear to, and do so with JOY!
The other end of the spectrum has this mentality attached to it that being a mom is REALLY HARD and kids can make us crazy and drive us to the brink of insanity. Children don't afford us the opportunity to dress nicely, shower, eat lunch, or have two minutes to ourselves. I mean we can barely poop in private (if you're willing to admit women poop at all). So, we accept being disheveled, frumpy, under rested, and frazzled, disorganized, messy, and somewhat short tempered because we can't make the "do it all mom" part work out.
I'm pretty tired of this to be honest. I'm here to shed some light and insight on this sucker so we can all rest easier as mothers and wives. I say we FLIP MOTHERHOOD AROUND and get off the "do it all mom" mentality and back to the basics.
Firstly, we must drop the facade and say no to the pressure of being the "do it all mom" or that it is even
possible or NECESSARY. Our children certainly don't need that from us and the pressure we put ourselves under to achieve it is a waste of time.
Now, I like a good craft here and there and certainly a new recipe idea from time to time. Although my children are perfectly content with eating spaghetti and taco soup every single week. I like to feel accomplished in my homeschooling (which could be rare if I only thought accomplished meant my kids knew Latin or had memorized the Declaration of Independence). I would love to sew and my daughter would probably love for me to make her a dress. But, it just isn't NECESSARY for me to be a loving, attentive, good mom. It isn't even necessary for me to raise a well-rounded daughter that might love to sew. In addition, I like, no I LOVE a clean house...but sometimes we just can't make it all happen...and that is okay. Right?
Truthfully our children just want to be with us. Spend time with us. And, part of being a parent is exposing them to and encouraging them to find what they love and to teach them skills. But not EVERY skill. It isn't POSSIBLE and plainly, wouldn't be healthy for them to think they have to know everything about everything. But, there are awesome clubs where they can learn skills and talents we don't personally have.
Now, don't get me wrong. We all have gifts and interests. Some of us can sew like the dickens and I think that is awesome! You should do that. I do digital graphics. I love that and it comes easy to me. I think I should do that. But, we can't have it ALL. We simply can't. We can't do what we love, and make our own soap, and grow a huge garden, and raise chickens, and sew our own clothes, and make hair bows, create preschool printables, throw the biggest birthday bash with handmade decorations, buy ALL organic food, own our own (flourishing) side business (because our children should be our first business), and make crafts every day...get my drift here. Even if we could would it be good stewardship of our money, time, talents, etc.?
We must drop the act and the pressure and embrace who G-d made us to be as mothers and wives and pray for our husbands to not only embrace it but love it. My husband might wish I could sew but I can't and that is okay. There are other great qualities about me and he loves me for them. I have to dig deep and ask myself what I really enjoy and what matters most in the time I have each day. Or what is something, 1 thing at a time, that I'd like to learn. Instead of trying to be the "do it all mom" we must see the limitation (and sometimes the damage) of trying to measure up and accept the beauty of where we are.
On the flip side...oh yes, I'm not quite done...I'm tired of the other side of spectrum I mentioned above as well. I can't read any more posts on Facebook about moms not being able to take a shower, wear proper clothes, organize their home, clean up the mess, etc. I am beginning to feel it gives moms a bad wrap and more importantly we sell ourselves short.
So, follow me here. On one hand we feel enormous pressure to have it all together and be the "do it all mom". On the other hand, we can't get out of bed in the morning, we can't clean the house, we can't take a shower, and we can't bare another minute of it. I don't get it.
Our home is in shambles, our kids "don't let us shower" but we have crafts and projects coming out of our ears.
What koolaid convinced us with the idea that being a mom meant we couldn't get our acts together inside the home but we better know how to do all things "pinteresty"? (I'm not talking about the newborn phase, that gets a pass for a bit of time).
It, to me, is simply self discipline and a realistic approach to what is right in front of us.
If we can get our home routine in order we will have time for projects, I promise.
Take the time on one weekend, the whole family, to get the house in order. Then each day, keep it in order. Don't allow your playroom, schoolroom, craft room, bedroom to get crazy. Teach your children discipline. Don't allow the family to go to bed at night without making sure the house is in order. We are to be good stewards of the things we have.
THROW THINGS AWAY. Holy cow do we hold on to things. It isn't healthy. We have to part with items, books, furniture, papers, etc. in order to move forward. It's easier to stay on top of it than to try and do big cleanups every once and a while.
Get up in the morning and take a shower, put on your makeup, do your hair. Teach your daughters and your sons that taking care of yourself is important. Be an example to them.
Hit the gym or an exercise video a couple times each week to model exercise and taking care of your body...G-d gave it to you. Our children are watching us.
Don't let the kids turn the house upside down and if you do, embrace cleaning it up together. You're only able to clean up the mess because you were blessed with children, remember that!
Make them take a NAP or have QUIET TIME. I get time to myself in the middle of the day almost everyday because my kids have been conditioned to have quiet time. Yep...I let the older ones watch a movie together while the younger ones sleep so we can all get some peace and quiet. It does something marvelous to my mind.
We are full of excuses as to why we can't get a shower, why we can't get enough sleep (go to bed earlier for goodness sake), why we can't exercise, why we can't look nice for the day and take care of ourselves. Teach your children that you get a chance to eat too...trust me I'm there with you. I make lunch for 5 children during the day and sometimes forget to feed myself. But, I started thinking I'm setting a bad example for my kids.
This is where I'm going with this whole thing. I thought about my children and the role model I want to be. I don't want my boys, who will someday be men, to think that one day their beautiful bride will no longer make time for a shower, activities, or lunch and they will come home to someone who can't get their act together. I want them to see that mom, women, their future brides are capable of SO MUCH MORE. They can plan their time, get a shower, look pretty, dress nicely, eat lunch, develop a routine and stay organized. I want my boys to look forward to a wife that is diligent, organized, methodical, practical, and realistic.
This sets the tone for my boys not thinking their wives can "do it all" but are capable of a realistic approach to life that offers JOY and ORDER. But, I don't want my boys to expect their wives to be EVERYTHING and have EVERY skill. But rather to be a good steward of the ones they have been given and to see the value in keeping a nice, clean, orderly home with discipline and routine.
I was thinking about my daughter. I don't want her to think being a mom means being frumpy, disheveled, under slept, and barely making it. I don't want her to think being a mother and a wife means suddenly the house is a mess and stuff is everywhere. That isn't pleasant and it robs our children of living productive, orderly lives in their future, with realistic goals.
Stop acting like it's a normal part of motherhood to eek by. Its shameful.
Listen, I'm in the mud with all the other moms out there. I often prioritize orderliness and cleanliness over just spending time with my kids. I don't struggle with trying to be the "do it all mom" but I have my own battles, perfectionism being one of them. I'm great with discipline, order, cleaning up before we move on to a new task, etc. But, I often struggle to just slow down with my kiddos. I show them that having 6 kids might not be fun. Even though I think on the inside it's AWESOME!
I'm asking each of you to look at your home--your routine, your talents, your day as a mother and to consider something different.
Leave the "do it all mom" in the wind. Make a list of areas you can improve in. Ones that will benefit your family and your home. List the area and the benefit it will provide
For example:
More discipline in keeping the house picked up (teaching my kids to slow down and be clean)
Taking a shower each morning (to teach my daughter it's okay to take care of myself)
Create a better daily routine so I can fit in a little exercise, some lunch, and maybe a little quiet time (to teach my children that I care about myself and they should too)
Going to bed earlier (because I want to be a rested and joyful mother)
Crafting more (because this is my passion and my talent)
Get where I'm going with this?
I hope you can see what I'm trying to get at here. We just aren't being fair to ourselves, our children or even our spouses to continue to try and be someone we aren't with time we don't have and resources better spent somewhere else. Instead, we can hone in on the little things we tend to let slip through the cracks that would make all the difference.
You can do it. Get up ten minutes earlier and get that shower. Let that little one sit on the floor in the bathroom with a toy while you do. Buy what you like to eat at the store so you can have lunch together. Pick up, clean up, organize yourself...you'll feel better! If you're organized on the outside, even when it takes effort, you'll get organized on the inside. You'll role model for your children just how awesome being a mommy really is and how fun it will be to have a wife (most of the time)!
So, before you continue to read this post, just know, I'm right there with you moms. We are all doing our very best to love our children and raise them up. Please don't take what I am about to say as judgement rather encouragement. We were called for such a time as this, to be mothers, whether it be of 1 or 6 and G-d has big plans for us and our children.
------Let Said Post Ensue-----
You don't need to be everything, but you can do better at what is right in front of you!
From my perspective I see mothers being sucked into two extremes these days. I see the pressure of being the "do it all mom". Pinterest projects, crafting, sewing, activities, organizational skills, chef...the list goes on. If you homeschool the pressure mounts even morer to be the best homeschooling mom around (I mean what's homeschooling without kids who know latin? huh? btw for my cc friends, I think latin is great it is an example!). If you're kids go to school you also fit in transportation, field trips, homework, etc. The challenge is to keep it all together, or appear to, and do so with JOY!
The other end of the spectrum has this mentality attached to it that being a mom is REALLY HARD and kids can make us crazy and drive us to the brink of insanity. Children don't afford us the opportunity to dress nicely, shower, eat lunch, or have two minutes to ourselves. I mean we can barely poop in private (if you're willing to admit women poop at all). So, we accept being disheveled, frumpy, under rested, and frazzled, disorganized, messy, and somewhat short tempered because we can't make the "do it all mom" part work out.
I'm pretty tired of this to be honest. I'm here to shed some light and insight on this sucker so we can all rest easier as mothers and wives. I say we FLIP MOTHERHOOD AROUND and get off the "do it all mom" mentality and back to the basics.
Firstly, we must drop the facade and say no to the pressure of being the "do it all mom" or that it is even
possible or NECESSARY. Our children certainly don't need that from us and the pressure we put ourselves under to achieve it is a waste of time.
Now, I like a good craft here and there and certainly a new recipe idea from time to time. Although my children are perfectly content with eating spaghetti and taco soup every single week. I like to feel accomplished in my homeschooling (which could be rare if I only thought accomplished meant my kids knew Latin or had memorized the Declaration of Independence). I would love to sew and my daughter would probably love for me to make her a dress. But, it just isn't NECESSARY for me to be a loving, attentive, good mom. It isn't even necessary for me to raise a well-rounded daughter that might love to sew. In addition, I like, no I LOVE a clean house...but sometimes we just can't make it all happen...and that is okay. Right?
Truthfully our children just want to be with us. Spend time with us. And, part of being a parent is exposing them to and encouraging them to find what they love and to teach them skills. But not EVERY skill. It isn't POSSIBLE and plainly, wouldn't be healthy for them to think they have to know everything about everything. But, there are awesome clubs where they can learn skills and talents we don't personally have.
Now, don't get me wrong. We all have gifts and interests. Some of us can sew like the dickens and I think that is awesome! You should do that. I do digital graphics. I love that and it comes easy to me. I think I should do that. But, we can't have it ALL. We simply can't. We can't do what we love, and make our own soap, and grow a huge garden, and raise chickens, and sew our own clothes, and make hair bows, create preschool printables, throw the biggest birthday bash with handmade decorations, buy ALL organic food, own our own (flourishing) side business (because our children should be our first business), and make crafts every day...get my drift here. Even if we could would it be good stewardship of our money, time, talents, etc.?
We must drop the act and the pressure and embrace who G-d made us to be as mothers and wives and pray for our husbands to not only embrace it but love it. My husband might wish I could sew but I can't and that is okay. There are other great qualities about me and he loves me for them. I have to dig deep and ask myself what I really enjoy and what matters most in the time I have each day. Or what is something, 1 thing at a time, that I'd like to learn. Instead of trying to be the "do it all mom" we must see the limitation (and sometimes the damage) of trying to measure up and accept the beauty of where we are.
On the flip side...oh yes, I'm not quite done...I'm tired of the other side of spectrum I mentioned above as well. I can't read any more posts on Facebook about moms not being able to take a shower, wear proper clothes, organize their home, clean up the mess, etc. I am beginning to feel it gives moms a bad wrap and more importantly we sell ourselves short.So, follow me here. On one hand we feel enormous pressure to have it all together and be the "do it all mom". On the other hand, we can't get out of bed in the morning, we can't clean the house, we can't take a shower, and we can't bare another minute of it. I don't get it.
Our home is in shambles, our kids "don't let us shower" but we have crafts and projects coming out of our ears.
What koolaid convinced us with the idea that being a mom meant we couldn't get our acts together inside the home but we better know how to do all things "pinteresty"? (I'm not talking about the newborn phase, that gets a pass for a bit of time).
It, to me, is simply self discipline and a realistic approach to what is right in front of us.
If we can get our home routine in order we will have time for projects, I promise.
Take the time on one weekend, the whole family, to get the house in order. Then each day, keep it in order. Don't allow your playroom, schoolroom, craft room, bedroom to get crazy. Teach your children discipline. Don't allow the family to go to bed at night without making sure the house is in order. We are to be good stewards of the things we have.
THROW THINGS AWAY. Holy cow do we hold on to things. It isn't healthy. We have to part with items, books, furniture, papers, etc. in order to move forward. It's easier to stay on top of it than to try and do big cleanups every once and a while.
Get up in the morning and take a shower, put on your makeup, do your hair. Teach your daughters and your sons that taking care of yourself is important. Be an example to them.
Hit the gym or an exercise video a couple times each week to model exercise and taking care of your body...G-d gave it to you. Our children are watching us.
Don't let the kids turn the house upside down and if you do, embrace cleaning it up together. You're only able to clean up the mess because you were blessed with children, remember that!
Make them take a NAP or have QUIET TIME. I get time to myself in the middle of the day almost everyday because my kids have been conditioned to have quiet time. Yep...I let the older ones watch a movie together while the younger ones sleep so we can all get some peace and quiet. It does something marvelous to my mind.
We are full of excuses as to why we can't get a shower, why we can't get enough sleep (go to bed earlier for goodness sake), why we can't exercise, why we can't look nice for the day and take care of ourselves. Teach your children that you get a chance to eat too...trust me I'm there with you. I make lunch for 5 children during the day and sometimes forget to feed myself. But, I started thinking I'm setting a bad example for my kids.
This is where I'm going with this whole thing. I thought about my children and the role model I want to be. I don't want my boys, who will someday be men, to think that one day their beautiful bride will no longer make time for a shower, activities, or lunch and they will come home to someone who can't get their act together. I want them to see that mom, women, their future brides are capable of SO MUCH MORE. They can plan their time, get a shower, look pretty, dress nicely, eat lunch, develop a routine and stay organized. I want my boys to look forward to a wife that is diligent, organized, methodical, practical, and realistic.
This sets the tone for my boys not thinking their wives can "do it all" but are capable of a realistic approach to life that offers JOY and ORDER. But, I don't want my boys to expect their wives to be EVERYTHING and have EVERY skill. But rather to be a good steward of the ones they have been given and to see the value in keeping a nice, clean, orderly home with discipline and routine.
I was thinking about my daughter. I don't want her to think being a mom means being frumpy, disheveled, under slept, and barely making it. I don't want her to think being a mother and a wife means suddenly the house is a mess and stuff is everywhere. That isn't pleasant and it robs our children of living productive, orderly lives in their future, with realistic goals.
Stop acting like it's a normal part of motherhood to eek by. Its shameful.
Listen, I'm in the mud with all the other moms out there. I often prioritize orderliness and cleanliness over just spending time with my kids. I don't struggle with trying to be the "do it all mom" but I have my own battles, perfectionism being one of them. I'm great with discipline, order, cleaning up before we move on to a new task, etc. But, I often struggle to just slow down with my kiddos. I show them that having 6 kids might not be fun. Even though I think on the inside it's AWESOME!
I'm asking each of you to look at your home--your routine, your talents, your day as a mother and to consider something different.
Leave the "do it all mom" in the wind. Make a list of areas you can improve in. Ones that will benefit your family and your home. List the area and the benefit it will provide
For example:
More discipline in keeping the house picked up (teaching my kids to slow down and be clean)
Taking a shower each morning (to teach my daughter it's okay to take care of myself)
Create a better daily routine so I can fit in a little exercise, some lunch, and maybe a little quiet time (to teach my children that I care about myself and they should too)
Going to bed earlier (because I want to be a rested and joyful mother)
Crafting more (because this is my passion and my talent)
Get where I'm going with this?
I hope you can see what I'm trying to get at here. We just aren't being fair to ourselves, our children or even our spouses to continue to try and be someone we aren't with time we don't have and resources better spent somewhere else. Instead, we can hone in on the little things we tend to let slip through the cracks that would make all the difference.
You can do it. Get up ten minutes earlier and get that shower. Let that little one sit on the floor in the bathroom with a toy while you do. Buy what you like to eat at the store so you can have lunch together. Pick up, clean up, organize yourself...you'll feel better! If you're organized on the outside, even when it takes effort, you'll get organized on the inside. You'll role model for your children just how awesome being a mommy really is and how fun it will be to have a wife (most of the time)!
Saying Farewell to 2013
This year has brought a lot of joy. Welcoming our sweet Beau Everett in April, our first homebirth, was one of the most incredible experiences of my life (all my children have blessed me, this birth was also special). Sending Cole to school starting in August and the twins officially starting first grade has been, ultimately, a great experience for everyone. I do miss Cole during the day but that is eased with the joy of seeing him excel and enjoy school and appreciate the opportunity to go to NCS. Brynnie is enjoying a casual learning environment this year as she is not quite ready for Kindergarten yet in age, but is an awesome learner. Westin is a joy and a challenge as he has been 2 years old most of this year. He is hysterical and crazy (in a good way) and keeps us on our toys but showers us with LOVE and Laughter! My sweet Beau...there are no words. He is so precious, happy, adorable, and the cherry on top of our lives! All of us adore him.
This year has brought joy with seeing several babies from the abortion clinic come to be born after their families chose life. This has been an incredible blessing to our lives. To see the fruit of our time out there. To know that life exists today because the Lord sent us for that divine appointment. It has been such an honor to experience. I've had several friends also have their babies this year in which I was privileged enough to attend. And, since I'm technically on maternity leave, the Lord has made a way through friends and a supportive husband for me to be there for each of them. It has been thrilling to be their doula and their friend in this time.
Justin and I began studying the Torah this year. This has blessed our lives as well and has made a huge impact on my heart and knowledge of our Father. Our family has also incorporated celebrating Shabbat on Friday's which has been incredible (both in the experience and also challenging to achieve sometimes). I'm so thankful our eyes have been opened to the beauty of this meal we can share together as a family and we've been able to share it with many friends as well.
I'm always a little sad when another year rolls by. They seem to fly by faster and faster and I'm getting older and older and my children are growing and growing. But, I am blessed to have a G-d that provides, loves, and tends to us with the passing of each year. I am most thankful for His ultimate blessing in my life; his Son, my husband, my parents, my sweet, character forming children, and our health! Praise G-d for His mercy and grace and faithfulness.
I plan to spend more time in the new year focusing on our blessings, speaking softer and with more Love in my expressions, and to listen to the Lord more and spending more time in prayer. I want to really make the most of the moments I have with these sweet babies G-d has given me. Time is fleeting and I want to soak it all in!
Here's some shot of the kids taken recently as we close out 2013. I sure love them!
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30 Things I Want My Daughter to Know
As a compliment to the 25 Things I Want My Sons to Know, Lisa, wrote 25 Things I Want My Daughter to Know. Again, because it was so cute I wanted to write it here in our blog, with some changes to wording, and a few additions. It's just a sweet little note to leave for my only daughter, Brynnie Girl!
1. Enjoy the innocence of your childhood. You only get to be little once. And, although daddy and I try to teach you how to be a lady, we also want you to enjoy being little. Giggle, laugh, spin, run, and try to fly!
2. Smart is the new cool. Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math. Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths.
3. No matter how many times you hear it, “Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend.” Firstly, Jesus and the Lord love you the most and want the best for you. Secondly, good friends are invaluable. They are trusting and loyal. They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad. Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.
4. Go for it, get dirty! It’s good for you. Try not to get dirty in your new dress or in your socks...but get dirty none-the-less. Besides the fact that getting dirty actually does help support your immunity, it’s also a great way to express creativity! Sculpt, draw, and stomp. Better yet, go “classic” and make some mud pies.
5. Beat the boys at their own games. Football, baseball, hockey or golf, never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. So go ahead, build the tallest tower of legos, kick butt on Xbox, and bust out your light saber (there are about 20 of those things around the house).
6. Although Farts are Funny they aren't really Lady Like. Be stealth and make them matter!
7. See the world while you are young. Make memories seeing the places you desire to see.
8. A strong hand shake leaves a lasting impression. It represents self-confidence and ambition. A strong hand shake and eye contact exemplifies a mutual respect for one another and is a sign that you are friendly, trustworthy, and honest.
9. Choose your role models carefully. There is nothing cool about girls who sell themselves short, degrade themselves by using sexuality as their supreme value, or forget who their Creator is. Look up to women who are strong and capable but have self respect and desire to honor Jesus.
10. Read something every single day. From the Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss to Junie B Jones, reading is exercise for your brain. It expands knowledge and vocabulary- and lets your imagination run wild.
11. When it comes to wearing make-up, there’s a general rule of thumb that applies – LESS is MORE. You are already so beautiful, inside and out. Just let makeup boost your natural beauty.
12. When it comes to fashion, shorter does not always equal better. Fashion trends come and go and not all of it is fabulous. Allow fashion to express who you truly are...are daughter of the high king.
13. It isn't Lady Like to Pick Your Nose. I know your brothers think it's great...it isn't. Get a tissue.
14. Always remember your Daddy Loved You FIRST. He is your biggest fan and your protector. Confide in him and come to him in times of need. He'll always be there for you.
15. Remember to Love Jesus First. Love Him so deeply your future husband has to find you in His arms in order to make you his bride.
16. Since you’re growing up in the technological age of iPad, iPod, iPhone, and texting, don't let it distract you from personal relationships and face to face time. Make a phone call, write a letter, and put your arms around someone.
17. Be trustworthy. Make a promise and follow through. Be a woman of your word. Be someone people know they can always count on.
18. Don’t let pop culture define you. Let G-d define who you are. You have a purpose and a calling in life and it cannot be found in pop culture. It can only be found in the Lord. You can be current without letting go of your true value.
19. Accept yourself for who you are. You’re one-of-a-kind and that’s what makes you beautiful. Tall, short, big, small, blonde, brunette, redhead, white, brown, blue, pink, yellow – we are all DIFFERENT.
20. Mainstream your health. Remember what it takes to be truly healthy. No fear. No shame. Eat Well. Chiropractic care. Natural disease prevention. Exercise. Essential Oils. Keep yourself healthy.
21. Have confidence in yourself. A positive self-image assures power, strength, ability, and value. It will enable you to conquer your goals and allow you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams.
22. Be a sister. Be a friend. Be a protector.
23. Love with all your heart. For where there is love there is life. Love is universal and felt by all living things. So strong is the feeling of love that it is said it makes the world go round. Love God and Love Others!
24. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Laughter is humbling. It inspires and motivates.
25. Wherever you are in life, you can come home. I will be here – always.
26. Remember your brothers and your crazy childhood...it will keep you grounded and help you be a good wife.
27. Stay at Home and be a Mommy. There is truly nothing greater and more rewarding.
28. Find the man of your dreams. Be sure you know what you are looking for, pray for him to find you and you him, and make a happy life full of love.
UPDATED--2 MORE
UPDATED--2 MORE
29. Don't get distracted by having things. Things come and go. They break and they can be replaced. Make Memories, be thankful for what you have, and always express Joy.
30. Remember how much we LOVE you!
Love , Mom
Letter to Cole
Motherhood is hard...just plain and simple. We bring our own baggage into the experience that then mesh with our hopes and dreams for our children and somehow they get all marbled together while we learn to raise boys into men.
None of it is going how I thought it would go when this sweet, amazing, precious, G-d designed person came out of my swollen womb, taking his first breath of life and whispering G-d's name with his voice. Motherhood has been an evolving and glorious experience that I couldn't even begin to describe.
What I can describe (whether I, and certainly not without the Lord, am able to bring it to life for him) is what I desire and feel for my son. Since he turned 8 in July, I wanted to write a letter to him. When he was small I would journal for him. Writing with a pen and paper is quickly a thing of the past. So, here we are 8 years later and I'd like to write him a birthday letter.
In many ways I will fall short of all the things I had envision, planned, or thought I wanted to do for him and with him as a mother (I way underestimated sin nature and the battle of the flesh), there is no QUESTION how much I love him. With each season we go through I learn more about him and he learns more about who G-d wants him to be. We are both rolling with the waves on this one and each coming out better in the end (at least that is my hope and prayer and trust the Lord will be faithful).
Dear Cole,
I Love You! Nothing could ever change that. I knew I was destined to be a mother and I knew G-d had something special for me, but I did not nor could I imagine the true depth of love motherhood has to offer. It has opened my heart in ways I never expected. Love is also constantly moving and growing and flowing as you grow and we approach this thing together.
You are quite an amazing young man. There is just no one else like you. So smart, quick witted, observant, passionate, capable, helpful, energetic, funny...I could go on and on. There is nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. I have watched you forge your own way in so many things. You move me and I'm inspired by you .
My prayer for you is of a softer nature. I prayed when you were being knit in my womb that you would be a leader, a friend, and a follower of Christ. G-d has gifted you with so many strong qualities. The prayer for your life is that you would take those strong character traits and allow the Lord to fashion them into love, gentleness, generosity, caring, and a commitment to put others first. G-d has a plan and a purpose for your life and although at times it get confusing with the battle or flesh and spirit, I know the Lord has his hand on your life.
I know, at times, I don't help you find the truth about your life and who you are called to be. Things around here can be crazy and demanding of all of us. You are so incredible to handle being the oldest of six children. I can sometimes get short tempered, have high expectations (only because I know you can do it and I want you to be a solid man), focus on things that don't matter, and I can be too tired to give you what you need. I am sorry. Please forgive me. It is not my desire and I am working on the things I need to improve in order to be the mother G-d wants me to be.
This is why it is so important that you get your identity from the Lord. I may be the vessel G-d has chosen to raise you up but the true example for your life is Him. I am human and I will fall short from time to time but together we can look to the Lord to find our way.
Cole, love G-d and love others. Be courageous as you are and learn to be tender and gentle in spirit when the time is right. Show your dedication the Lord by your service to others. Think of yourself second and try to make righteous decisions that would please the Father.
I will always be here son. You are a light in my life. I will always be your mom. I will be your biggest fan. I will reflect to you what you need to see in yourself as you grow so someday I can simply enjoy who you've become.
I enjoy watching you grow. Even when things are in an off kind of phase and things seem harder than we'd like them to be. You amaze me and blow me away daily. You truly don't see your potential the way I do, because life is lived in the moment for you. Don't let the moments be missed opportunities.
Be proud of who G-d made you but humble enough to see an opportunity to improve. Find your passion, what your calling in is life, the passion G-d has implanted into your heart. You are truly a special guy, and my favorite oldest son.
Love,
Mom XO
Your one and only mom who you can always come home to. I Love You!
None of it is going how I thought it would go when this sweet, amazing, precious, G-d designed person came out of my swollen womb, taking his first breath of life and whispering G-d's name with his voice. Motherhood has been an evolving and glorious experience that I couldn't even begin to describe.
What I can describe (whether I, and certainly not without the Lord, am able to bring it to life for him) is what I desire and feel for my son. Since he turned 8 in July, I wanted to write a letter to him. When he was small I would journal for him. Writing with a pen and paper is quickly a thing of the past. So, here we are 8 years later and I'd like to write him a birthday letter.
In many ways I will fall short of all the things I had envision, planned, or thought I wanted to do for him and with him as a mother (I way underestimated sin nature and the battle of the flesh), there is no QUESTION how much I love him. With each season we go through I learn more about him and he learns more about who G-d wants him to be. We are both rolling with the waves on this one and each coming out better in the end (at least that is my hope and prayer and trust the Lord will be faithful).
Dear Cole,
I Love You! Nothing could ever change that. I knew I was destined to be a mother and I knew G-d had something special for me, but I did not nor could I imagine the true depth of love motherhood has to offer. It has opened my heart in ways I never expected. Love is also constantly moving and growing and flowing as you grow and we approach this thing together.
You are quite an amazing young man. There is just no one else like you. So smart, quick witted, observant, passionate, capable, helpful, energetic, funny...I could go on and on. There is nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. I have watched you forge your own way in so many things. You move me and I'm inspired by you .
My prayer for you is of a softer nature. I prayed when you were being knit in my womb that you would be a leader, a friend, and a follower of Christ. G-d has gifted you with so many strong qualities. The prayer for your life is that you would take those strong character traits and allow the Lord to fashion them into love, gentleness, generosity, caring, and a commitment to put others first. G-d has a plan and a purpose for your life and although at times it get confusing with the battle or flesh and spirit, I know the Lord has his hand on your life.
I know, at times, I don't help you find the truth about your life and who you are called to be. Things around here can be crazy and demanding of all of us. You are so incredible to handle being the oldest of six children. I can sometimes get short tempered, have high expectations (only because I know you can do it and I want you to be a solid man), focus on things that don't matter, and I can be too tired to give you what you need. I am sorry. Please forgive me. It is not my desire and I am working on the things I need to improve in order to be the mother G-d wants me to be.
This is why it is so important that you get your identity from the Lord. I may be the vessel G-d has chosen to raise you up but the true example for your life is Him. I am human and I will fall short from time to time but together we can look to the Lord to find our way.
Cole, love G-d and love others. Be courageous as you are and learn to be tender and gentle in spirit when the time is right. Show your dedication the Lord by your service to others. Think of yourself second and try to make righteous decisions that would please the Father.
I will always be here son. You are a light in my life. I will always be your mom. I will be your biggest fan. I will reflect to you what you need to see in yourself as you grow so someday I can simply enjoy who you've become. I enjoy watching you grow. Even when things are in an off kind of phase and things seem harder than we'd like them to be. You amaze me and blow me away daily. You truly don't see your potential the way I do, because life is lived in the moment for you. Don't let the moments be missed opportunities.
Be proud of who G-d made you but humble enough to see an opportunity to improve. Find your passion, what your calling in is life, the passion G-d has implanted into your heart. You are truly a special guy, and my favorite oldest son.
Love,
Mom XO
Your one and only mom who you can always come home to. I Love You!
A Yearning Belly
I read this article today posted by a friend on Facebook. In it she discusses that feeling from deep within her belly, a yearning, to bear more children. In a sense, a gut feeling, that the Lord is not yet done with her body or her family.
I have often talked about this and had people look at me with this crazy eyed, "are you nuts" kind of stare. Apparently not all women experience this type of feeling when it comes to child bearing. But, I also believe many women do experience this feeling. They instinctively know the Lord is not yet done with their family and has so planted a desire deep within their womb, the LIFE GIVING SOURCE, in order to carry it out.
It's a wild and taxing thing to explain; the pure and unequivocal beauty of carrying, birthing, holding, sustaining (breastfeeding) and nurturing a new LIFE as a mother. And then to further explain how ones spirit, very essence would long to do it all again from so deep within.
I feel sorry for men actually. They are robbed in a way of the pure awesomeness of this experience. The churning new life within your womb, the breath of giving life as a mother labors, and the calling of your breasts to nurture and give force to this new life.
I mean I like the idea of vacations without napping children too. I like the idea of riding a motorcycle with him someday. I like the idea of sleeping through the night again. Yet...I was so willing to delay those things in order to enjoy those tiny precious toes, laughing giggles, bedtime prayers and songs, sippy cups, strollers, and diapers. I mean I can't have children FOREVER. It will someday stop.
I decided I couldn't be upset about my husband not wanting me to bare children inevitably and for seeing our live together differently than me. I prayed and asked G-d to loosen my grip from the idea of baring children till He decided I was done. I mean, truthfully, if I honor my husband and I let it go...G-d will still do what G-d has planned to do and He will bless us for my honoring my husband. At this point, we were on baby number 4. Our first girl and I absolutely knew we weren't done.
Instead of continuing to talk about being "Quiverful" I focused my attention to the immediate. In this moment did we want to have another baby. And then to ask the question again when the time was right...shall we have another. At each junction Justin agreed to have another baby. Between Westin and our now youngest baby, Beau, we had a miscarriage, making our final count of babies at this time...7.
My yearning isn't calling to me loudly as it certainly once did. We now have a full house of 6 children and LOTS of love, LOTS of sacrifice, and LOTS of WORK, but it is a heavenly work. The aching of my belly isn't completely gone. How could it be, I was made to create life. I look at those ten precious toes of my newest, 5 month old baby boy and realize maybe it might never go away. It is what I was created to do, commanded to do by G-d (multiply and replenish the earth), and I get to participate withe Lord in the creation of life. It is amazing. I do not know what the future holds. I love laboring and birthing children, watching them grow, nursing them, holding them, looking to see who they resemble more, and I love watching my children with each new baby. They never tire of their new brother.
I've been wondering if my yearning has subsided some so G-d could open my heart to adoption. I have less desire to have children till my 40's as I once did. Justin and I might be meeting in the middle somehow. Regardless of all that I know I will mourn some when we finally decide there will be no more.
I know Justin will read this and resoundingly say he has already decided. But, one never knows what the Lord has planned! (Don't worry honey, I mostly mean adoption)
In many ways men experience joyful things in parenthood that women don't experience, so I'm not man bashing I'm simply stating they miss out on this particular part of the miracle of life.Just as the author in the article, since the time I was a little girl I knew I wanted a large family. It is as though G-d planted that desire deep within my heart as a part of my very essence.
I believe that because we are all created in His image and he is the author of life, we too have an innate desire to author and give life. Some of us in our modern culture suppress those innate desires and fill the hole with external measures such as career, partying, freedom, etc. Our current culture does not any longer value children as the Creator does. But, none-the-less the innate desire is there whether suppressed or not.I have been very aware of my desire to have a large family since I can remember. In fact, when Justin and I met I told him I wanted 7 children. He very readily agreed! Ha...if we'd both only known what raising children would really require from us and from within us and what it would reveal and teach us. But, even when we were surprised with twins and I had moments of complete disbelief in the Lord's provision (in which He has always proved me wrong), my built in, gut nagging, yearning womb told me there were more children for our family. There was a time when we (Justin and I) were reading and considering being what they call a "Quiverful" family. Now, we are a quiverful family. Our quiver is quite full! But, Quiverful is also the name of a movement in which the number of children you bear is left entirely up to the Lord and one does not intervene nor doubt in His divine plan or provisions. I was fascinated. To think I could trust G-d with this yearning...that He put there, to fulfill it and provide for it. I was on board. My husband, just like the author of the article, not as much. I do believe he prayed and considered the ins and outs of such a plan...to allow the Lord to decide. I cannot say whether it is by prayerful, heavenly determination or wordly concern that he has decided our family would not follow this path.
By worldly concern, I do not mean he has not considered the Lord nor am I calling him worldly. Rather he has concerns or natural feelings of wanting to move on to the next stage, looking towards them growing older, the financial implications or more children, lugging strollers, changing diapers, having me always holding an, albeit precious, but always holding a baby, having a large enough vehicle, and so many more "worldly" considerations. I suppose I call it that because we all know the Lord can provide finances, he has for us all along. We know being able to take vacations and have more freedom isn't the primary purpose nor need as a parent, they are desires. There are sacrifices involved. So, it isn't that those things don't matter but rather they are not heavenly reasons to not have more children.I will admit I was disappointed about this in the beginning. Hurt at the thought that he may find things like sippy cups filled with old milk, strollers, little feet running in the house, sleepless nights, and me holding a baby something he wanted to move forward from. I had read all the information about being "Quiverful" and felt very excited at the idea of never really having an empty belly or purpose (rather than between children). I mean, it's what I've been waiting for all my life right? I have a yearning...a yearning here. How can he decide that this chapter must close and the next open? Doesn't he know about my aching womb so deeply wanting to bare children? He couldn't understand the earthly force of nursing a newborn? Right?
I mean I like the idea of vacations without napping children too. I like the idea of riding a motorcycle with him someday. I like the idea of sleeping through the night again. Yet...I was so willing to delay those things in order to enjoy those tiny precious toes, laughing giggles, bedtime prayers and songs, sippy cups, strollers, and diapers. I mean I can't have children FOREVER. It will someday stop.
I decided I couldn't be upset about my husband not wanting me to bare children inevitably and for seeing our live together differently than me. I prayed and asked G-d to loosen my grip from the idea of baring children till He decided I was done. I mean, truthfully, if I honor my husband and I let it go...G-d will still do what G-d has planned to do and He will bless us for my honoring my husband. At this point, we were on baby number 4. Our first girl and I absolutely knew we weren't done.Instead of continuing to talk about being "Quiverful" I focused my attention to the immediate. In this moment did we want to have another baby. And then to ask the question again when the time was right...shall we have another. At each junction Justin agreed to have another baby. Between Westin and our now youngest baby, Beau, we had a miscarriage, making our final count of babies at this time...7.
My yearning isn't calling to me loudly as it certainly once did. We now have a full house of 6 children and LOTS of love, LOTS of sacrifice, and LOTS of WORK, but it is a heavenly work. The aching of my belly isn't completely gone. How could it be, I was made to create life. I look at those ten precious toes of my newest, 5 month old baby boy and realize maybe it might never go away. It is what I was created to do, commanded to do by G-d (multiply and replenish the earth), and I get to participate withe Lord in the creation of life. It is amazing. I do not know what the future holds. I love laboring and birthing children, watching them grow, nursing them, holding them, looking to see who they resemble more, and I love watching my children with each new baby. They never tire of their new brother.
I've been wondering if my yearning has subsided some so G-d could open my heart to adoption. I have less desire to have children till my 40's as I once did. Justin and I might be meeting in the middle somehow. Regardless of all that I know I will mourn some when we finally decide there will be no more.
I know Justin will read this and resoundingly say he has already decided. But, one never knows what the Lord has planned! (Don't worry honey, I mostly mean adoption)Back to Home-school
We are officially all back to school now that Labor day has passed and summer (although the weather isn't changing) is over. Since Cole is attending school this year I will have more time to spend with the twins and Brynn.
The twins are in first grade this year. Where did the time go? We will continue to work on bible, reading, writing, and math primarily and throw in some science, history, art, and some unit studies. I try not to spend more than 3 hours on school each day (more like 2.5 if I get my way, but that depends on how cooperative they are). That way it isn't over whelming for them or me, I don't neglect Westin for too long and I can try and fit it in when baby sleeps. They are such different kids than Cole, I am having to learn how to teach them the same things but in a whole new way. It helped that Cole was almost a year older in this grade than they are now. But, it's a huge change. It's good for me and keeps me on my toes.
They will be taking Piano this year and Grammy has enrolled them in Tennis lessons. They have a filled semester already. And, if daddy gets his way, they might play Fall Baseball this year. I'm hoping to wait until Spring, but who knows.The nice thing about homeschooling, which I tell people all the time, is it's not about doing school at home. It's about finding what works for your kids and keeping at it. For my twins, it's about review, repetition, hands on, and keeping it brief. Success is huge. If they don't have success they are totally defeated. Also, I realize, that in some things, they just don't care yet. Which is fine and when they do finally care, it will click.
I'm not sure yet if this will be their last year at home. They might not transition until 3rd grade. We will be praying about that. Until then, I will do my best to fulfill the calling in their life as their mother, teacher, and their daddy's wife!
Brynn, although she is only 4 might as well be in Kindergarten this year. It will be tough to keep her slowed down and in her appropriate grade level. She is more like Cole, eager to learn and quick to retain information. She is a January birthday so I cannot just let her get ahead. I don't want her to graduate high school at 17. So, I plan to spend most of the school year just keeping her busy with crafts, cutting, letters, shapes, colors, painting, letter sounds, reading books with her and making school fun. She is also taking Piano and trying Ballet for the first time this year, thanks again to Grammy. We are also sending her 2x a month to see the tutor, like the boys did, our long time friend Alana. It changes things up and makes learning fun and gives her some one-on-one.Next year she will be 5 and we will start "real" Kindergarten but by then she'll probably be ready for first grade. Oh well. We do what we can right! She is a lot of fun because she enjoys learning. I haven't had her complain or whine about anything other than wanting more work to do. Crazy in comparison to the twins. She wants to keep everything she makes and colors. If I let her my house would be stacked up with papers and pictures. We toss those things in the quiet of the dark night and never bring them up again. She often doesn't notice. We've all been there I know it.
Cole has been enjoying school at NCS. He really LOVES math and is an excellent reader. Dropping him off and picking him up provides nice structure to our day. It gives boundaries to work and play and allows for a nice nap for the littlest ones. He is doing Mathletes after school and also taking Piano lessons. He is so quick to learn and eager as well. We've been praying he makes friends easily. Each day on the way to school we pray a verse over him out loud. I write it on a 3x5 card and put it on my visor so we can read and pray it together. He has all the opportunities to be successful in school (not that I believe that is the gauge of a man), but if he enjoys education he has the ability to do well. It has given us, already, opportunities to work on character, problem solving, the power of words, and so much more. Those little blips in time I am so thankful for because those are the moments that refine his heart.
Of course, Westin had to jump in there. He is such a ham and cannot be left out! Stinker bug.
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