Welcome to the World sweet Beau

I've been reflecting on your birth recently, after having McCoy. So I penned this letter to you to remind myself just how precious you are to me!

My precious Beau entered the world early morning with the sun shining in through the window of our room surrounded by his brother's and his sister.

After losing a baby last April there was nothing my heart desired more than to fill that space with a precious little one.  I had set my heart on that precious soul that awaits us in heaven and I longed to see God's creation in completion again.

Beau YOU are the answer to my every prayer in those days.  Carrying you in my womb anticipating your arrival with joy.  I was tired and weary running after those brothers and your sister but I longed to hold you.

As one by one our little ones came down with the 24 hour flu, mamma got hit hard.  I was friends with the porcelain goddess (I'm not fond of her) and wretching in a way I hadn't experienced in a long while.  This, my love, sent me into contractions.

9 days prior to your predicted arrival I felt you shift down and the power of giving you your first breath took over.  That evening after laying everyone down in our room for the night with their sick tummy's and sweaty brows, I knew you were coming.

I spent that night on the couch with my headphones on and the audio I had created to keep my mind focused on Christ whispering in my ears.  I knew the road could be long and I wanted to rest.  God granted me that prayer and through many portions of the night I rested and fell asleep between contractions.  No children rose, no one threw up, my sickness faded and when the morning broke at 6:00am I told your daddy it was the day.

I called my friends we had invited into your birth space and texted the midwife letting her know you were coming today.

As soon as the children were up the bustle began and daddy spent the earliest morning preparing the room/bed. My parents arrived to help with the older kiddos and I labored around the house moving from spot to spot finding comfort and ease in the contractions.

It felt like a breeze miraculously.  I was overjoyed to be home and to have everyone there.  As things progressed, within a short 5 hours you had made your way down we prepared for your entrance.  All your siblings gathered round and the pressure intensified.

Carol moved that cervical lip I always have, it's as painful as it can get, but once it was moved you were barreling into the world.

It was just the most perfect and precious experience for me to be home and to bring you up into my arms.  With all the children gathered around to see you take your first breath, we instantly fell in love. I praise the Lord for your most precious and perfect birth and I am blessed beyond measure.

I hold you close sweet boy. I treasure you. You are a gift to me and I'm so thankful to be your mommy. I would repeat that experience a thousand fold for the joy of holding a little one again!

Letter to Westin

Westin,
My crazy, sweet, funny, laughing, tickling, spirited, unique little boy!!! You turned 4 this year.  What in the world happened? How did you get so big?

You are a gift to us and our family.  A gift we sometimes wonder why it has to be so loud?! You are pure joy. Everything you do is full speed. You play full speed, talk full speed, think full speed, and get upset at full speed! There is no limit to the volume with your joy too...it's okay it makes you unique.

The exciting thing is you jumped on a pedal bike the day before your birthday and just took off! It took one try and off you went. It was very exciting.

You love books, coloring, playing games, riding bikes out front, and playing with friends. You are such a sweet boy.

You, my love, you know no strangers and you are everyone's friend.  I love that about you.  You make us laugh everyday! You also make me crazy sometimes.

When we get in the car to drive anywhere...you don't stop talking. You pretty much ask a million questions which always require an answer.  It's adorable and exhausting.

You only like specific foods...it's okay that is typical for a four year old.   I don't mind making you PB&J Sandwiches, Chicken, Fruit, basghetti, and chips...oh you LOVE Chips.  Let's just make an agreement that you'll try new things every once and a while...maybe some veggies!

You are precious with Beau...such an awesome big brother. God knew Beau needed you when we had Beau.  You love him deeply and give him wonderful hugs.  He LOVES you and it makes my heart happy.

God has something special planned for you. You're a shining soul and a real lover of people. I'm confident you'll be a great friend and a great father someday.  I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being a male midwife because you love babies so much!

It's been an incredible 4 years with you my sweet boy and I'm so proud to be your mom.  Our lives wouldn't be the same without you...all your quirk and pizzaz!

Don't go growing up too fast.  Mommy doesn't like that!

Love you sweet boy,
Love Mom

Who Are My Children--Brody

Brody, Brooks to be official, is a precious, unique, individual young man.  He has such a tender spirit.  He is sensitive to how others are feeling (most of the time) and willing to be helpful when I ask (most of the time)!

Being a twin has it's special place in our family. I remember like yesterday the day we found out we were having twins.  I instinctively knew we were having two and had mentioned it the night before the ultrasound at 19 weeks. When the tech said, "Oh, it looks like it's two" we both looked at each other while Justin was holding Cole full of glee!

Then at home the "Oh My Gosh" set in.  I was never worried about having two babies, to be honest, really just thought about the money it was going to cost. It was unexpected to say the least.  But, the idea of having two boys was beyond my expectations.  We were thrilled.  Three BOYS! It's what I'd always wanted (before I wanted seven kids).

When they were born Brody was content, happy, smiley, and just full of life.  I just loved that snuggle bug.

Now, 7 years later and what feels like a lifetime, he's got an incredible heart.  A real lover.  He and Trace have a special bond.  I rarely hear much of a disagreement between them and they know each other like most brothers don't and they accept each other as they are.

Brody LOVES people.  He cares about what they think and how they feel and what they think about him.

He LOVES dressing nice and doing his hair. (Not having it cut so much, that is a spectacle to be recorded sometime. It's quite incredible.  You wouldn't know how crazy cut hair in your face can make you till you watch the twins get a hair cut.)

He make friends EASY.  He's talkative, energetic and easy to make conversation with.  He will be loyal to the end.

He is INDEPENDENT.  For the most part, he thinks for himself.  Every so often I hear him say, "so and so was doing it" as an excuse for him doing something as well, but most often he sings his own song and does his own thing.  It's really a precious thing to behold.  Just when I think he's going to run off and go swimming with his brothers he stays behind to hang out with me and just talk (which he does a lot of).

He LOVES to talk. Lots and lots of talking.  Lots of explaining, sorting it out, talking about "what if's" and making sure he knows the in's and out's of life.

He is SUPER SILLY.  He loves to dance, shake him booty, laugh, and be crazy.

He is an ARTISTIC little guy.  He enjoy drawing, coloring, and making new things.

He is a GREAT big brother to Beau.  As usual Brynn and Westin have gotten too big to be cute to the big brothers, most of the time, although sometimes you catch glimpses of them appreciating each other.  But, with Beau, Brody is tender, helpful, kind, protective and loving.

He does have pretty STINKY feet.  That one I have to remember for when he's older.

He NEVER wants to sleep alone and most nights sleeps with Trace although lately they've been all 3 sleeping together in Cole's bed.  They bicker and fight during the day but love each other at night.

He tends to WORRY or over-think, but we've been working on that.  We've been praying and asking G-d to help him let things go when he worries and trying tactics to set his mind at ease.  It's been much better but always something we must be on guard about.

He LOVES small storage containers; boxes, knife holders, basically anything that can hold trinkets.  He such a boy that way.

He LOVES the outdoors, pocket knives, hiking, exploring, and having adventures with dad. (Except for when they whack a log with bees inside and he's stung at least seven times by angry bees.)

He OFTEN talks about when he will get married and looking into the future. He's got a big surprise coming when he realizes he can't quite plan everything out...but life is still fun.

He is GOOFY and SILLY and just loves to play. He can be easily flustered but most of the time is easy going and relaxed.

He LOVES Legos. He's my only boy (besides Westin) that will eat BOTH Peanut Butter and Jelly rather than just one or the other.  And, he is the most NEAT of the three older boys by far. He keeps good track of his things (except his wallet of all things) and is nice and tidy (oh except for his laundry, that seems to be okay just thrown anywhere.)

He STILL loves Pirates, swords, guns, and knives.  Total BOY and I LOVE that.

He doesn't LIKE to be sprayed with water while dressed...that is like end times kind of incidents.

He is giving and sweet, often tender and talking about his feelings.  The other day, his second week at NCS, he heard someone laugh at Trace when he tripped, and he instantly said "Hey, don't laugh at my brother or you'll pay."  Later that night at home, he came to me crying asking if he'd done the right thing because he
didn't want to make the boy that laughed feel bad.  He's so concerned with doing the right thing and preserving people's feelings.

It will be fun to continue to watch them grow as they find who they are on their own, as twins, yet as unique creations with unique purpose.  They have a special place in our family and Brody is a gift and gives our home a light we treasure.

Letter to Cole

Well Buddy it's another year down and now you are 9. Halfway through growing up in our home and on your way to being a young man.  I can't hardly believe it (I know I say that all the time, it's a mom thing.) It's true though, time seems to fly and now I've blinked and you're a 9 year old cutie pie.  Can I still call you that or does it embarrass you? I think you don't mind really...You're sweet that way, still full of hugs and kisses and snuggles for your dad and I. How'd we get so lucky.

Growing up is hard...emotions, expectations, correction, limits, trust, responsibility, and so much more. Especially being the oldest of 6.  Whoa...I never had to do that.  I really can't tell you I relate.  What I do know is God made you to be the oldest in this crazy family.  He called you and appointed you to this role and place in our family.  Both to sharpen you and give you special leadership role.  It can be both hard and a beautiful think to watch.

You often selflessly love your siblings, sacrificing for them, giving them your time and attention when you'd probably rather be doing something else.  I catch glimpses of God's amazing love and servant-hood at time when I watch you. Of course, as with anyone, those moments can also be clouded with bickering, selfishness, and competition between you and them, but as we are fleshly beings your dad and I understand that.  That is what we are here for...to guide you and show you the way.  I suppose the most important thing is that we do that and that you, my son, listen and grow when you can.

The mark of a great leader is the ability to see where change needs to happen, take action to make those changes and celebrate God's mercy and love for you as you do so! Not perfection but growth.  Not perfection but change. Not perfection but effort, love, grace, and humility.

You're a pretty incredible little guy...well not so little anymore.  You wow me so often and humble me too. I pray fervently that the next 9 years are full of as much adventure and fun as these past 9 years have been and I pray God protects your heart and eyes, shows you His way, and that you choose Him above all things.

I'm going to blink and you'll be grown.  My influence on your life will become small as your forge your own way. So, while we travel the road together I hope we can grow you into a responsible, hard working, loving, kind, servant leader who walks on God's path.  I admit, I don't fully know how to do that.  I will make mistakes and for that I'm sorry. But, I love you and we serve a good God.  He is faithful to us as we pray and knows what we need before we utter it.  Let's be praying together for your future.  I know God has good things for you, even if sometimes the path seems rocky.

I Love You Cole.  With all I am! I'm proud to be your mom.

Love,
Mom

Who Are My Children--Brynn

It's strange having a daughter...strange for me. I can't exactly put it into words but I'll try.  She's so special. The only girl among 5 brothers, a daddy and a tom boy mother.  G-d placed a special calling on her life from the moment she was conceived.  At the time we didn't know how many children we would have although I was confident she wouldn't be our last.  Everyone always assumed she would be. "Oh you got your girl, you can be done now."  This is the statement of the year that year.  I never felt having a girl would mean we were done.  For me, I felt it was just the beginning to a new journey.

She has such a unique place in the world and her purpose and position are certainly exceptional.  I'm sometimes not sure what to do with her.  To be honest.  She is innately different from the boys.  She's creative, emotional, demanding all while being loving and sweet.

Well I've always understood boys.  I think I was meant to be a boy mom. Being friends with boys was always easier. Hanging out with boys was always more fun (growing up that is).  So, being her mommy, the mommy to a precious daughter is something I didn't see coming. I should have...right..everyone has a daughter at some point right?! I mean what were the chances we'd have 5 boys...

She is petite, precious, tenderhearted, emotional, sneaky, sometimes demanding...she is simply HER.  She is her own person, created in G-ds amazing image and she stands her ground in ways that sometimes inspire me and sometimes inconveniences me!

She LOVES her daddy.  Right now at age 5 he is the top of the list.  She loves to wrestle and tickle with him (something they call rough house) and she'd give anything to snuggle with him uninterrupted.

She is a TINY, petite little firecracker.  She can stand up for herself, sass talk you if you're pushing her, and make sure someone knows she's being bothered.

She LOVES to laugh and giggle and be wild.  She has an extreme amount of energy.

She LOVES to play house but often lacks participants.  It's so cute when the boys decide to play with her!

She LOVES to pick the TV show.  It's not surprising because most of the time she doesn't get to. There are just too many boys to compete with.

She is ALL GIRL.  She loves pink, purple, dresses, dress-up Princess dresses, sparkly shoes, tappy shoes, SHOES, and pretty much NEVER wants to wear jeans.

Now, that being said, she is also perfectly fine with getting DIRTY.  She will wear jeans if we are going camping.  She LOVES camping.  and S'MORES...mostly campfires and s'mores.  She loves hiking, the dunes, riding bikes, running around barefoot, and playing in the hose.  She can SHED the girlie stuff in a heartbeat for activities she loves.
She pretty much NEVER remembers to put on those shoes she LOVES when we leave the house.  It can be infuriating but it's also a little bit cute.  It's one of those things we'll remember and look back on with laughter.  But, today...it's crazy.  Nothing like pulling up to the store with a daughter who forgot shoes. Ain't nobody got time for that!

She HATES me doing her hair.  She's all prinecessy but could care less about her hair being done.  She'd rather it be a train wreck and a bag of tangles.  Anything to keep me from combing it and putting it up. But, DADDY can comb her hair after a bath no problem! It's a conspiracy I think.

She LOVES her Baby Brother and would give her right arm for a SISTER.  I'd love to make that happen for her someday.  I'd love to adopt a little, precious, girl who needs a family and Brynn would be over the MOON!

She is a PROFESSIONAL MIND CHANGER.  She's hungry...no she's not really hungry.  She wants Cheerios...not she doesn't really want Cheerios.  She wants PB&J...no...after four bites...she's not really hungry.  She wants to watch Strawberry Shortcake...after 10 minutes (barely half an episode) she's flipping to another show.  I've never experienced anything like it.  It still blows my mind sometimes.

She LOVES music and dancing.  She's a twirling master and recently discovered toe touches. It's pretty cute and I can always count on her fabulous dance moves when I put the music on.

For MOST of her young life so far she's been confused as to what to call her female parts...I think we've finally convinced her she doesn't have a "penis" and that hers has another name! (Is that TMI? I thought it was a cute little factoid of an only girl among boys).

She LOVES to play with girls.  Any girls...big girls, girls her own age...hopefully this will translate into her being a good friend with girls in the future (which I think I was lacking as a younger gal).

She ONLY likes like 5 foods. Cheese Roll Ups, Chicken, Go-Gurt, Chips, Apples or Pears...Oh and anything that can be dipped in Ketchup and Ranch. I'm sort of exaggerating but it's pretty close to the truth.

She's SMART as a WHIP and schooling her will be an easy task.  She's ready now but I'm not quite ready to devote a lot of time to that.  But, next year as the twins go to school, I'll have lots of time for her and I and I'm excited about that!

She MIGHT always want what someone else has even if there was no interest on her part 5 seconds before.

She recently started doing chores for an allowance and her first expenditure at a baseball game was for a TENNIS BALL!?! What?  It was so weird.  But, she bought it herself and she was so proud of that! Her second purchase was a water bottle (like a plastic bottle of water) even though we brought water and there is a drinking fountain...that one I didn't quite get also.  Needless to say, I watch her spending a little more closely now!

She has a PRECIOUS little face with bright eyes and an adorable little smile! I LOVE HER.

My hope is that as she grows and we get to spend time together doing "girl" things that we will have a special friendship I don't have with the boys.  I'd love to take trips with her, laugh with her, cheer her on in her activities, and relish in every moment of being her mother.  I can't wait to one day watch her have her own child and experience the joy of being a mother. Mostly, I pray I can somehow, through my human-ness, point her towards Jesus and help her find her greatest value in being HIS daughter.

30 Things I Want My Daughter to Know

As a compliment to the 25 Things I Want My Sons to Know, Lisa, wrote 25 Things I Want My Daughter to Know.  Again, because it was so cute I wanted to write it here in our blog, with some changes to wording, and a few additions.  It's just a sweet little note to leave for my only daughter, Brynnie Girl!

1. Enjoy the innocence of your childhood. You only get to be little once.  And, although daddy and I try to teach you how to be a lady, we also want you to enjoy being little.  Giggle, laugh, spin, run, and try to fly!

2. Smart is the new cool. Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy, having freckles or glasses, or loving science and math.  Smart never goes out of style, it stays with you as you grow, and it will lead you down the most successful paths.

3. No matter how many times you hear it, “Diamonds are NOT a girl’s best friend.” Firstly, Jesus and the Lord love you the most and want the best for you. Secondly, good friends are invaluable.  They are trusting and loyal.  They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad.  Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.

4. Go for it, get dirty! It’s good for you. Try not to get dirty in your new dress or in your socks...but get dirty none-the-less.  Besides the fact that getting dirty actually does help support your immunity, it’s also a great way to express creativity!  Sculpt, draw, and stomp.  Better yet, go “classic” and make some mud pies.

5. Beat the boys at their own games. Football, baseball, hockey or golf, never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl.  So go ahead, build the tallest tower of legos, kick butt on Xbox, and bust out your light saber (there are about 20 of those things around the house).

6. Although Farts are Funny they aren't really Lady Like.  Be stealth and make them matter!

7.  See the world while you are young.  Make memories seeing the places you desire to see.  

8. A strong hand shake leaves a lasting impression. It represents self-confidence and ambition.  A strong hand shake and eye contact exemplifies a mutual respect for one another and is a sign that you are friendly, trustworthy, and honest. 

9. Choose your role models carefully. There is nothing cool about girls who sell themselves short, degrade themselves by using sexuality as their supreme value, or forget who their Creator is. Look up to women who are strong and capable but have self respect and desire to honor Jesus.

10. Read something every single day. From the Cat in the Hat and Dr. Seuss to Junie B Jones, reading is exercise for your brain.  It expands knowledge and vocabulary- and lets your imagination run wild.

11. When it comes to wearing make-up, there’s a general rule of thumb that applies – LESS is MORE. You are already so beautiful, inside and out.  Just let makeup boost your natural beauty.

12. When it comes to fashion, shorter does not always equal better.  Fashion trends come and go and not all of it is fabulous.  Allow fashion to express who you truly are...are daughter of the high king.

13. It isn't Lady Like to Pick Your Nose.  I know your brothers think it's great...it isn't. Get a tissue. 

14. Always remember your Daddy Loved You FIRST.  He is your biggest fan and your protector. Confide in him and come to him in times of need. He'll always be there for you.

15. Remember to Love Jesus First. Love Him so deeply your future husband has to find you in His arms in order to make you his bride.

16. Since you’re growing up in the technological age of iPad, iPod, iPhone, and texting, don't let it distract you from personal relationships and face to face time.  Make a phone call, write a letter, and put your arms around someone.

17. Be trustworthy.  Make a promise and follow through. Be a woman of your word.  Be someone people know they can always count on.

18. Don’t let pop culture define you. Let G-d define who you are.  You have a purpose and a calling in life and it cannot be found in pop culture.  It can only be found in the Lord.  You can be current without letting go of your true value. 

19. Accept yourself for who you are.  You’re one-of-a-kind and that’s what makes you beautiful.  Tall, short, big, small, blonde, brunette, redhead, white, brown, blue, pink, yellow – we are all DIFFERENT.

20. Mainstream your health. Remember what it takes to be truly healthy. No fear. No shame. Eat Well. Chiropractic care. Natural disease prevention. Exercise. Essential Oils.  Keep yourself healthy.

21. Have confidence in yourself. A positive self-image assures power, strength, ability, and value.  It will enable you to conquer your goals and allow you to fearlessly pursue your biggest dreams.

22. Be a sister. Be a friend. Be a protector.

23. Love with all your heart. For where there is love there is life.  Love is universal and felt by all living things.  So strong is the feeling of love that it is said it makes the world go round. Love God and Love Others!

24. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Laughter is humbling.  It inspires and motivates.

25. Wherever you are in life, you can come home.  I will be here – always.

26. Remember your brothers and your crazy childhood...it will keep you grounded and help you be a good wife.

27. Stay at Home and be a Mommy. There is truly nothing greater and more rewarding.

28. Find the man of your dreams.  Be sure you know what you are looking for, pray for him to find you and you him, and make a happy life full of love.

UPDATED--2 MORE

29. Don't get distracted by having things. Things come and go. They break and they can be replaced.  Make Memories, be thankful for what you have, and always express Joy.

30. Remember how much we LOVE you! 

Love , Mom